


Burn

by HeyAssButt2009



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BOM10DayChallenge, Details about Kevin’s assault, M/M, Mentions of Kevin’s assault, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23600599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyAssButt2009/pseuds/HeyAssButt2009
Summary: Day 1 of the BOM10DayChallenge on tumblr.Line prompt “Let it Burn.”I’m stupid and orphaned this fic that’s why there’s two of them lmao. Pls read this one.
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Burn

**Author's Note:**

> Tw: mentions of Kevin’s assault but it doesn’t go into full detail, hardly any detail at all but this is a warning just in case. 
> 
> This is for the BOM10DayChallenge on tumblr and I’m very excited to take part in it! Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> I’m crying I just orphaned this work lmao that’s why you guys probably see this twice.

Life in Africa was wonderful. 

Well as wonderful as it could be. 

Connor still had to deal with the bugs. And the mosquitos. And the hungry lions that Nabulungi claimed there to be, waiting to eat them if they dared to go out at night. 

Still, even with all the copious amounts of sunscreen and bug spray he and the other Elders, per Connor’s request, had put on, life in Africa was pretty great.

Then, there was Kevin Price.

Now Connor isn’t necessarily saying Kevin is the problem with the bad part of Africa, but he’s mainly the root of all of Connor’s bad thoughts. 

When Connor had first met the other Elder, his breath had literally escaped from his lungs and he was certain that he had hearts for eyes. Kevin Price was simply beautiful, more beautiful than Steve, and Connor would’ve died a happy man if Kevin’s face was the last thing he saw.

Maybe he’s being a little dramatic, he has a valid reason for that now, but ever since Connor had met Kevin, he had been plagued with Hell Dreams. He’s had them before, but ever since meeting Kevin they had simply become worse, especially since he’s had nothing but impure thoughts about the other Elder.

When he had first met Kevin, the man had a bright smile on his face even if it drooped down a little like he wasn’t happy, but he still put on a brave and radiate grin and Connor knew he was lost. 

Now, it had been two weeks since he met Kevin and the other man never seemed to smile anymore.

He was more withdrawn and fidgety after the incident with the Mission President and the failed play. So Connor had thought Kevin was simply upset with their district being shut down. It made the most logical sense, they were all a little upset about being told to go home. 

Until Kevin had convinced them to stay, and they had all agreed. Church didn’t want to go home for obvious reasons and if Connor was going to be an open book from now on, he couldn’t really go home to an accepting household either. 

So the other elders had decided to stay.

Kevin being upset about leaving was not the problem. 

Connor had thought that maybe him and Neely had a private fight about something. One time the other Elder had touched Kevin, a slight hand on the upper back when he leaned up to get a bowl out the cabinet, and Kevin had flinched before glaring at Neely before storming off. 

When Connor had asked him what that was about, Neely just sighed like he didn’t know, claiming he and Kevin had never acted out of malice towards each other.

In the end, Connor never did figure out what happened with Kevin Price. 

But tonight would be different. 

Two days ago, the self proclaimed prophet, Arnold Cunningham, had busted in the hut an hour late for curfew. Connor had given him a look, but Arnold had chosen to ignore it.

Everyone was gathered in the living room to just relax and rewind after today's hard work. Connor was sitting on the couch next to Thomas and Church, and the others had distributed themselves across the floor.

Kevin was sitting so close in front of Connor that he feared even if he moved his feet a slight fraction, he would accidentally kick the other boy who didn’t like to be touched. 

However, Connor longed to touch his hair. Even if it looked limp in its current state, it still looked soft and fluffy and Connor could feel his hand moving on his own before Arnold bust through the door. 

“Lets throw a party, you guys are lame.” Arnold declared before flopping down playfully on Kevin, who grunted and pushed him away. Arnold took no offense and just grabbed at him before crushing him in a bear hug. 

Connor watched as Kevin drew in on himself, how his shoulders hunched and his breathing became heavier, before he just relaxed and melted into Arnold’s touch for a few seconds before pulling away and pressing his back into Connors legs, closer this time but still on guard. 

It felt like he was shielding himself into Connor, and even though he and Kevin never really talked that much, a few short conversations here and there, Connor felt satisfaction over the fact that Kevin was slowly confiding in him even if it was through a small gesture.

“How are we lame?” Connor questioned and an echo of agreement went around the room. Arnold huffed and rolled his eyes, as if the answer was obvious. “It’s a friday night and you guys are at home.” He proclaimed and Connor gave him a look.

It was perfectly acceptable to want to stay home after work, with all the heavy labor they had been doing to make the village a little nicer. 

“We never do anything fun.” Arnold pouted. “Why don’t we change things up once in a while? We never do.” He said, looking around at the other men. 

“That’s not true.” Micheals said. “Just last week we played a board game, and Connor even taught us how to knit!” He exclaimed proudly before showing off his badly knitted scarf that looked like it would fall apart if you even breathed on it.

“First of all, we played _scrabble_ and knitting is something old grandmas do when they're bored.” Arnold exclaimed and Connor frowned.

“My late grandma showed me how to knit one day.” he said.

“Was she bored?”

“I mean I guess.” Connor grumbled. “She couldn’t move from her chair without help.” 

“My point exactly!” Arnold exclaimed. “We’re men now guys, not old women who smell like baby powder and watch Wheel of Fortune reruns! We need to be out there living our best lives!” Arnold exclaimed. “Now who’s with me?” He questions before fist pumping into the air.

A beat of silence passed before Kevin spoke up. 

“I hate to say this, but Arnold’s right.” He said glancing around the room, but not actually looking at the other occupants. Arnold lowered his fist when no one had joined in.

“Thanks buddy!” Arnold exclaimed. “I knew I could always count on you, hey wait a seco-”

“If,” Kevin interrupted “If we want to have fun once in a while that doesn’t involve Neely breaking the board games over his head every time he loses, then we should do it.” 

Neely scoffed. “I don’t do it _every time_.” 

“We’re out of duct tape because of you.” Connor says. “Do you know how hard it is to find duct tape? In the middle of Africa?” 

“Geez, you guys make it seem like Africa is a lot less fortunate than it is.” Thomas huffed.

“The point is,” Kevin said, voice soft but tone commanding “that we all deserve a break. Especially away from this house.” 

They all looked at each other and nodded in agreement. It had barely been a month in their stay, but they already had begun feeling the weight of the disappointment and disconnection from being away from home on their shoulders. 

“Alright then,” Connor said turning to Arnold who had a bright grin on his face “I’m trusting you with whatever you have planned.” 

“Trust me, you’ll be amazed.” He beamed and Connor wondered how true that statement would be.

* * *

  
What turned out to be what Connor thought to be an extravagant party, actually just turned out to be a village bonfire instead. 

Sure there was music and dancing, but not the loud kind and bodies certainly weren’t grinding together like Connor had seen on television.

Everyone was mostly gathered around the huge fire that was placed in the center, enjoying the display of a wide variety of cooked meats and chatting to everyone they knew.

It might not have been grand, but it was nice and simple. Connor quite liked that over a massive rave.

The sun was going down and the fire was still strong, casting a warm glow around it and Connor noticed that Kevin had been standing in the same spot in front of it now for a good amount of time. He went to walk over there and see if he was okay, but he was stopped by Nabulungi and Arnold.

“How are you enjoying the party, Elder McKinley?” Naba asked him after she went in for a hug and they exchanged kisses on the cheek.

Before Arnold and Kevin had arrived, he and Naba had actually talked more than he talked to anyone else. He knew all of her secrets and she knew all of his.

“Please Naba, call me Connor. I’ve told you this already.” He said and she nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry Connor.” He waved her off in a polite gesture. “Don’t worry about it.” He said. “The party is amazing by the way.”

“I wanted to do an epic Star Wars vs Star Trek costumed themed party and have everyone fight to the death with lightsabers.” Arnold explained. “But you know this works too.” 

Naba leaned into Connor and whispered. “He had a whole list of party ideas.” She explained as Connor leaned down a little so he could hear her. “He wanted you to dress up as Ron Weasley.” He scrunched his nose up at that. “It’s because I’m ginger isn’t it?”

She shrugged. “He was going to be Harry Potter and have Kevin be Hermoine, whatever the fuck that means. I don’t understand him half the time, he’s lucky he’s cute. It took a lot of convincing for him not to do that.”

“Right,” Connor drawed out, trying not to snicker at the idea of him, Arnold and Kevin being the best power duo in history. “How did you manage that?” He questioned and she smirked. 

“Do you really want to know the answer?”

“I do not and now I regret asking you.” He cringed.

She laughed and pulled Arnold away, who was staring at the fire the whole time lost in his own world, “Goodbye Connor!” She yelled. “Go and mingle.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him and dispersed amongst the crowd, Arnold waving obnoxiously behind her. 

Connor looked back over to the fire, and Kevin was still in the same spot, his back facing the world, and Connor hesitated a second before he finally walked over to him and stood next to his side.

Kevin was staring so intensely into the fire, that for a split twisted second, Connor feared that Kevin was contemplating jumping into it. 

“Hey Kevin,” he said softly “How’s it going?” he questioned and Kevin gently flinched, noticing him for the first time since he arrived.

“Oh, you know.” Kevin said clutching his cup closer to his chest. “It’s going.” He said. 

“That’s good.” Connor said unsurely and Kevin nodded.

“Yeah.” They lapsed in silence for a moment and Connor desperately looked around for anything to talk about. His eyes landed on Kevin’s cup and the steam coming out of it.

“What are you drinking?” He questions and then scolds himself for the ridiculous question. 

“Coffee.” Kevin says and Connor raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t that not allowed?” He questions and Kevin huffs. 

“Being gay isn’t either, so I guess neither of us are getting a planet.” He says glancing at Connor before sipping at his drink.

“I-” Connor says before shutting his mouth, not really sure how to respond.

Kevin sighs. “I’m sorry, that was really uncalled for I-” He shakes his head before extending the cup to Connor, who looks confused.

“C’mon, don’t leave me here to sin all by myself.” Kevin jokes and Connor takes the cup before taking a sip of his own.

“Wow.” Connor grimaces. “That tastes like crap.” He hands the cup back to Kevin, who laughs. “It’s an acquired taste, I guess.” Kevin shrugs before taking another sip of his own.

“It kind of helps me forget, really.” He says and Connor raises an eyebrow.

“Forget what?” Connor questions and Kevin shakes his head, as he realizes he said that out loud. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He says before swiftly changing the conversation. “Did you see Church trying to wrestle with the fish the other day?” 

Usually Connor would scold him for not accepting his feelings, turning it off had done no one good and he swore that he’d never make any one feel like they weren’t important.

But something was bothering Kevin deep down inside, and Connor didn’t want to risk him retreating more into his shell. 

So, he followed along and talked with Kevin for what felt like hours. They talked about mostly everything except Kevin’s problem. 

Connor learned that Kevin’s favorite color was yellow, and that he was more obsessed with Disney than he let on. 

In return, Connor told him his favorite color, pink, and that he had gone through an astronaut phase when he was seven. 

Kevin had been in hysterics when Connor was telling the story, bending over in laughter and cheeks flushed pink. Connor thought he looked even more beautiful when he was happy. 

As the night bore longer, more people began to pack up and leave, and after Connor had promised Mafala he would put the fire out, it was just him and Kevin. Him and Kevin in their own little world. 

Connor had just got done telling his story about Steve to Kevin, something about the darkness and moon made him want to spill all his secrets and Kevin was a good listener, when Kevin suddenly spoke up.

“If you promise not to tell anyone, can I tell you something?” Kevin asked and Connor furrowed his eyebrow. “Why would I tell anyone?” Connor asked and Kevin shook his head before turning to look at Connor. 

“Because it’s bad, it’s so bad and I don’t think I can go on pretending everything is fine when it’s not.” Kevin said and Connor went to say something before Kevin cut him off.

“I’ve been holding this in for so long and I feel like I’m going to burst if I just keep it inside and try to forget about it. And I would tell Arnold but I don’t want him to freak and I’ve seen how nice and caring you are with everyone so I thought you’d be a good person to tell it too and now that I think about it it probably wasn’t the best idea and I’m sorry for bothering you.” 

Connor gently shushed him and laid a gentle hand on Kevin, who didn’t flinch at it but Connor could feel him shaking and he needed to tell Kevin how he wasn’t bothering him and that it was all okay.

“Kevin, you can tell me anything. I’m here to listen.” He said and Kevin looked him in the eyes before taking a deep breath.

“I was assaulted.” Kevin said and Connor felt his blood run cold. “I can’t go into much detail right now, I’m not ready for that but it was the general and I’m so so scared Connor. I can’t sleep without thinking about it!” He tearfully exclaimed and Connor felt his heart break. The fire no longer felt warm against his skin. 

He had so many questions, but he didn’t ask. Instead, he just opened up his arms, an invitation, and Kevin looked at him for a moment before breaking out in sobs and launching himself into Connor’s arms. He held on tight to Connor as they sunk down to the floor.

He held onto Kevin as the boy cried into his shoulder. Connor felt his eyes begin to get wet so he began to rock them both back and forth to calm his aching heart. He put his hand against Kevin’s head and began smoothing it down.

“I’m here Kev,” He said “let it out, let it all out. It’s okay.” 

Kevin held onto him like a lifeline, and Connor was glad that Kevin had deemed him safe to confide in. The boy sobbed and sniffled against his chest and he didn’t even care that Kevin was probably getting snot and tears all over him. Kevin needed this, and Connor would gladly give him any support he wanted.

Connor couldn’t understand how anyone could ever hurt this innocent boy who had never even hurt anyone to begin with.

Connor didn’t know how long they stayed there, nor did he care. It took a while, but Kevin became silent and sat up away from Connor after a while.

“I’m sorry.” Kevin said, chuckling wetly. “I must seem pretty pathetic right now.” 

Connor shook his head. “Kevin, you shared a lot with me. You’re not weak and you don’t need to apologize. I’ll always be here for you.” He grabbed at Kevin's hand and ran his thumb over the joints.

“Thank you, really. I needed that.” Kevin said softly smiling at him and Connor took notice of the red eyes and tear tracks.

“Let’s go inside.” Connor suggested. “It’s late and I should put the fire out.” 

He and Kevin got up and he went to get the water hose when Kevin grabbed at his wrist. Connor looked at Kevin who hesitated before speaking. “Don’t put it out just yet.” He said before disappearing and Connor had never felt more confused and heartbroken for someone at the same time.

Kevin came back a couple seconds later with a mostly clear bag in his hand and Connor blinked when he looked at it.

“Is that the Book of Mormon?” Connor asked while Kevin looked down at it.

“Yeah.” He said and before Connor could get a better look at it, Kevin had chucked it into the fire. 

Connor gasped and went to step forward for a reason he didn’t know, perhaps to go into the fire and retrieve the book himself even if the idea was stupid, when Kevin grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“Trust me,” Kevin said “ **Let it burn**. It needs to.” 

Connor slowly nodded, not asking questions because he knew that in due time Kevin would tell him. All he could do is wait and to be there for Kevin whenever he needed someone. And Connor would always be there, waiting with an open mind and open arms for Kevin to fall into. 

So he just stood next to him, like he had done all night, and watched the book they had once believed in turn into ash. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading! This was supposed to be short and not angsty to begin with but I couldn’t help myself lmao. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated and I hope you enjoy!


End file.
